dick longer than a middle schoolers instagram bio
for my entire life i wondered why a dragonfly has an ass thats like 8 times as long as their body and tonight i finally felt compelled to investigate and as it turns out dragonflies breath thru their ass and can shoot water out of their butt hole to make them fly faster…….so…… i really did not expect that to be the answer but there it is
For $110 you can get a shirt with potatoes on it
Life hack: Get a $5 white t shirt and glue real potatoes to it. It’s cheaper.
dogs act like their whole family have been brutally murdered by a vacuum cleaner
They’re poisoning them early
Her face is the overall emotion that everyone should be experiencing right now
DO NOT BUY THIS BRAND.
Pedigree is on a nationwide recall.
Pedigree made my 6 month old puppy too ill to eat anything for days.
If you have this brand please toss it and buy Purina, Science Diet, or Blue.
Please do not feed this to you animals.
Do not buy this brand.
Reblogging to let any of my friends on here who are dog owners know this…
you wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a fire truck racing down your street. the siren grows louder and louder until the truck arrives at your house. “but…. but my house isn’t on fire” you think to yourself. you rush to your window only to see something… not human exit from the fire truck. it’s smokey the bear and he’s back for revenge. he knows you failed to properly put out that campfire last summer when you went camping with your friends. he knows
your face soon turns pale as you witness smokey adjust his cap and wipe the sweat from his brow. as you peer through the frosty window, he walks on over to the other side of his truck. you duck down, taking the opportunity to frantically look for a weapon. but it’s no use, smokey reappears and seems to look straight at you, his eyes stern and unforgiving. determined, he slowly approaches your front lawn, hose in hand. “ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES” he bellows. the ground begins to shake. a slight chill runs over your shoulders as you realize you are still in your pajamas, alone at your window. “SMOKEY IM SORRY IM SO SORRY SMOKEY” you yell at the top of your lungs as smokey carefully coats your mailbox in flames.
you wake up. “phew.. it was all just some sort of crazy dream” you say to yourself as you get a bowl of cereal. you go outside to pick up the paper from your front porch when you notice something a little strange about your mailbox at the end of your driveway. you drop your paper and frantically rush through the slick grass to your mailbox. CAN IT BE? you collapse into the morning dew in shock as you see it is completely charred. you begin to shake in terror as the realization sweeps over you. finally, you gather enough strength to pick yourself off of the ground. wait… has your shadow always been that big? you feel a large furry paw on the back of your shoulder….
i was eating a popsicle when i was was reading this and when i saw the “smokey the bear” part i choked on part of it and it slipped down and got lodged in my throat and i seriously just spent two minutes trying to get it out before it melted and slipped down because of this post
smokey strikes again